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Being a Doctor and a Mom: What if Mom Guilt is Optional?

kricia and grant

Being a doctor and a mom isn’t easy. And we all experience our fair share of mom guilt.

It’s that little voice in my head that says… You’re not doing enough. You’re weren’t there enough. Or like this week… when I was looking back at old pictures like this one… I feel joy… but also a twinge of guilt. How is that?

This photograph was taken in between sessions at the AAAAI Meeting in Miami, 2006.

I was still breastfeeding and had to pump in the restroom of the convention center (ugh!… there was no other private place) and get ice from the beverage service tables to keep it cold because airport security took away my ice pack.

I would sometimes sneak back to the hotel room and meet my little guy and my husband. They enjoyed the beach and the zoo while I was in meetings, and we would all go out together in the evenings.

I remember that being a really hard trip for me.

I felt guilty for not spending more time with them while we were there. But I had meetings to go to and research to present and that was important to me too. I felt very torn.

I’ve worked through the mom guilt issue for years. It comes and goes.

But now, I see that Miami conference in 2006 from a different perspective.

My son and my husband needed that one on one time with each other. And they probably wouldn’t have had that same opportunity at home with me there.

The only reason I was feeling guilty was because of my own thoughts… my own questioning of myself. And all of those thoughts were optional. And because my feeling of guilt was triggered by those thoughts… the guilt was optional too.

Do you struggle with mom guilt too? When do you feel it the most? And if you don’t feel guilty in a specific situation, do you then feel guilty for NOT feeling guilty? (crazy, right?)

I used to think that mom guilt just went with the territory… it’s just what mom’s feel.

But what if it’s all optional?

Until next time,

Kricia Palmer, MD, ASID | Doctor, life coach & interior designer

I’m Kricia Palmer, and I help women physicians let go of clutter and create beautiful, clutter-resistant homes so they can feel more peace, get more rest and be more focused.

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